


Don't Mask Your Smile for Me

by bingkai_dunia



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But they're going to be okay this time, Choi Soobin-Centric, Huening Kai-Centric, Hurt Choi Soobin, Hurt Huening Kai, I love descriptions, Lots of Inner dialouge, M/M, everyone is hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-31 00:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19038454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bingkai_dunia/pseuds/bingkai_dunia
Summary: "Promise me that you will never leave me again."—an alternate ending.





	Don't Mask Your Smile for Me

Soobin thought he’d moved on.

 

Throughout the years he’d learned how to smile his brightest and wore it on his face like a mask. At first, his face started to hurt from smiling too much, but as the day passed by he began to maintain his sunshine smile without any effort.

 

_Just like a patched paper smile_ , he thought.

 

Smiling became a daily ritual for him. Just like breathing he smiled and smiled even though in reality he was hurt and wanted to give up. Sometimes he thought that no matter what happened in the future; the smile that permanently stitched on his face would never wear off.

 

_(No matter what happens.)_

But here he was, standing in front of the person he thought he would never meet again.

_(Are you real?)_

 

His chest throbbed painfully and he felt like throwing up but Soobin didn’t care about anything _because he was here_. Chocked sobs and a tiny bit of whimper escaped from his mouth. Never did his eyes shifted from the figure that stood tall a few feet before him. _He never changes_ , he thought. Same yellow hoodie, same curly hair, the triple eyelids, and also that sweet, familiar smile that adorned his face. Soobin bowed his head low as droplets of tears streamed down his flushed face.

 

That plastic smile that always presented on his face was no more. His mask wore off just in a matter of seconds when he saw him and god, he was desperate enough to convince himself that no; his eyes did not deceiving him, yes; he was here and _yes; Kai was alive_.

 

_(You’re alive.)_

 

As if he could read his mind, the younger boy smiled—that painfully sweet smile and his tears started to pour even faster than before.

 

“I miss you, Soobin-hyung,” he whispered. “I really miss you.”

 

Soobin didn’t know who moved first but when they touched, he immediately clung to his warm, _warm_ body—determined to not undo his death grip for a long period of time. Because he was really scared that if he’d let go even for a second, he would be gone again, just like in the past when his hands couldn’t reach him in time.

 

“I won’t go anywhere, you know,” Kai said with a soft voice, wrapping his arms around him. “I promised I won’t, so please stop crying, I hated it when you cry, hyung.”

 

Soobin cried even louder, his strangled wails echoed throughout the empty room as he hugged his petite body tightly. He felt his grip around his body tightened as he buried his face into his neck.

 

“I’m sorry, Soobin-hyung. I’m sorry for all the things that I’d put you through.” he murmured, voice shaking. “I’m okay, I won’t leave you again, so please don’t cry anymore.”

 

Silence fell between them. Only sounds of choked sobs and a few quiet “ _It’s okay._ ” repeatedly came out from the younger of the two. There were many things that left unsaid, a lot of things that they want to convey, but sometimes silence was better than anything. Instead of lamenting the past, the two of them enjoyed the feeling of their body pressed against each other, arms and legs tangled, warmth shared together. Minutes passed when Soobin finally broke the silence.

 

“How,” the fabric of his hoodie muffled his voice. Kai tried his best to pry his head from his neck so he could understand his words better but he didn’t even budge even an inch and instead he smiled while caressing his messy mop of dark hair.

 

Kai sighed softly. “What is it, Soobin-hyung?”

 

“How—” he sobbed, “How could you still be alive? I saw—I saw you—”

 

Soobin lifted his head when he heard a choked sound, and his heart squeezed painfully from the sight of Kai crying silently. He looked so broken, so tired—and his eyes, they were puffy and red from all the crying and he honestly could not stand the hurt that clearly visible inside those irises. His eyes began to tear up again while his grip tightened even more. He thought about the past. He recalled all the things he did and even though he didn’t regret any of it he would trade anything to take all the pain that Kai had to endure all these years he’d been gone.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m—I really am sorry… I am so sorry Soobin-hyung,” Kai chanted regretfully, droplets of tears marring his beautiful face. “I didn’t mean to—I’m just, I am so sorry..”

 

Soobin couldn’t bear it, seeing him cry like this made his heart throb with pain and it felt so heart-wrenchingly painful. He shook his head as he wiped his tears away. “No—stop it. Don’t—please don’t cry. You told me not to cry, so why are you crying?”

 

_(Stop crying for me. It hurts to see you cry.)_

 

Kai let out a few, strangled chuckles before he smiled, that warm smile that looked so warm and made his eyes spark beautifully. But his tears didn’t stop, and Soobin doesn’t know what to do besides wiping the droplets over and over again until they were gone completely.

 

“Sorry, hyung. I’m a crybaby after all.” Kai laughed sheepishly. “Please don’t be mad?”

 

“You idiot.” he whispered. “I’m not mad—I could never be mad at you no matter how hard I try. Just, please stop crying? I really meant it when I said I hate it when you cry.”

 

It was the truth.

 

Soobin hated it with every fiber of his being.

 

He’d never wanted to see him cry, especially for him because it made him feel like the worst person in the world. Kai knew about this too. There was one time when he’d cried over him because he accidentally pushed him down the stairs ( _Soobin-hyung! I’m so sorry—are you okay? Please forgive me—I’m so—_ ) and from that time on he made a promise to never, ever make him cry again.

 

But it seemed like he had already broken that promise.

 

_(I’m so sorry.)_

 

“No, hyung, It was me—I was the one who’s in the wrong.” Soobin jerked out his thought when Kai drew back a little to look at him in the eye. “I swear I will give anything to redeem my sins—to take away all the pain I’ve caused you all these years. If I knew that it was going to end like this… I would have never left you in the first place.”

 

Soobin stared blankly for a split of second; like he was in some kind of trance. The memories of his death—he refused to called it suicide—flashed through his mind and his body started to shake uncontrollably. Soobin gripped his shoulders as he gazed desperately into the depth of his eyes.

 

Never did he want to go through the same thing again.

 

_(Ever.)_

“Then promise me—promise me that,” he pleaded while crying, “This time, you will stay right here. Promise me that you will never leave me again.” he choked back tears, “Never again.”

 

Kai smiled through his tears and held him closer, “I promise.”

 

The throbbing inside his chest disappeared, and for the first time in forever, his smile didn’t seem fake or forced. Soobin rested his forehead against his before he leaned down to press their mouth together.

 

“Good,” he breathed against his lips, his smile widening. “I’ll—I’ll hold onto that.”

 

Soobin was done pretending. His mask was no more—he didn’t need it anymore.

 

“Of course you will,” Kai giggled before he left a light peck again his lips, his eyes twinkling beautifully. “I’m back, hyungie.”

 

Soobin laughed.

 

“Welcome home, Hyuka.”

 

_(No matter what happens, huh?)_

 

He took that statement back.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for those who I've hurt with my angsty two-pieces Sookai. Just think of this as an alternate-ending where Kai survived instead of dying and they meet each other and live happily ever after lol. I guess I need a happy sookai for a healty skin, so yeah, hope this can mend your broken heart!  
> PS. About the background fic... well, I'm still thinking about it but let's hope for the best :)


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